Not Finding Out? There's a registry for that!

8/10/2010

According to recent research, 41% of expectant parents are choosing not to find out the sex of their baby before it's born. Many of those who do would prefer to have it both ways: keep the surprise but also get gender-specific gifts for their offspring. A Texas entrepreneur has solved the problem with an online gift registry that caters to these "NFO" parents. This video explains how it works.

I am finding in my research that planning and purchasing is one of the top reasons for finding out the baby's sex in advance. Of course, the question remains: why does having the right pink or blue wardrobe matter so much, at 20 weeks or 40?

FeministJerk

8/10/2010 09:55:48 am

Before my first son was born, we didn’t know if he was going to be a boy or girl so we painted the baby room yellow. I don’t know if yellow is gender specific color but it isn’t pink or blue but was somewhere in between for us. Anytime you learn the sex of your child, it’s a surprise! In the case of many couples, we did ultra sounds not to determine the sex of the baby but so make sure the baby and mother were healthy and on track. Learning the sex was a side bar to the procedure but interesting.

In the video, I’m skeptical 41% of mothers don’t want to know the sex of their child. Curiosity killed the cat and this cat was very interested to know when it became possible to make a determination.

I came from a large extended family and knowing the sex before birth was probably more important to other family members in their purchases for the huge baby shower event. These were big events in our family. Some members went crazy in the clothing area but they wanted to know what “color” to purchase. For the women of the family, there are right and wrong colors. (I suppose for the men too.)

Jo Paoletti link

8/10/2010 10:09:39 am

Yellow is a venerable neutral color, along with green. Lavender used to be, but has moved to the feminine side. My research (reading hundreds of comments in pregnancy discussion boards) suggests the 41% is about right nationwide, but that the number varies tremendously by region. In the video, the business owner claims it is only about 20% in Texas! And it isn't that they don't want to know at all, it is that they want to know "naturally", which seems to go hand in hand with other aspects of parenting style, as well.

I do find it interesting that the medical sites I've looked at still claim that sonograms are not necessary in a normal, uncomplicated pregnancy. They sure are routine for many people! I am thinking that insurance may also be an issue? One poster mentioned that her hospital would not do them, so she went to a private imaging firm.

Meredith

8/10/2010 11:04:13 am

I wanted to know because... I want to know everything. And why not? I was bound to find out sooner or later anyway!

Especially with #2, I loved knowing a little more about who would be joining us. We gave him a name that we could use, could refer to him as "brother" rather than "baby". It really helped acclimate the big sister.

It actually had absolutely nothing to do with purchasing or fashion. I'm not too often swayed by fashion for either myself or my kids. That said, I dressed both of them in whatever fit/looked cute/I had been given and that sometimes included pink or blue gendered clothes.

Jo link

8/11/2010 02:28:32 am

Meredith, I did the same thing. Amnio was strongly suggested -- and covered by insurance -- for my second because I was over 35. The big sister was so determined to have a little sister that we decided that knowing the sex of #2 would be very helpful. It probably would have worked out either way, but it was one less thing to worry about.

I expected to have no problem, because neutral clothing had been plentiful in 1982 (when #1 was born). It was the discovery that it had practically vanished by 1986 that embarked me on this research!

FeministJerk

8/11/2010 09:37:27 am

I have a “theory” why gender neutral clothing vanished by 1986 and you may not like it: Ronald Reagan. Jack Kennedy projected leadership and optimism, like let’s go to the moon, manly stuff. Then came a series of impotent presidents beginning with Johnson and ending with Carter with Johnson getting bogged down in Viet Nam and Jimmy Carter watching Afghanistan invaded by the Russians and the Iranian hostage crisis. Worse, their guns and butter policies with the monetization of government debt, large federal deficits and regulations resulted in stagflation. Economic times were severe with double digit inflation, high unemployment and a sense of general despair.

People were saving and scraping which meant kids would wear gender neutral clothes or any clothes which were affordable. There was less disposable income. (Now that I think of it, my Aunt actually ran a resale shop during this period but went out of business during the Reagan years.)

Reagan cut tax rates, cut federal spending, rebuilt defense, challenged the Russians and the Fed did the Saturday night massacre resulting in the greatest economic and technological expansion in human history. Reagan was seen by many as a wild cowboy but as Kennedy he projected strong leadership and optimism. Men were back in the White House. Increases in disposable income gave consumers more choices and an renewed sense of “masculinity” had sweep the nation.

Consider the inflation rate, at 1979: 11.20%, 1982: 6.16%, 1986: 1.91% and inflation almost vanished by 1990.

Consider interest rates: 1979:15.25%, 1982:11.50%, 1982: 7.50%

If this theory works, expect a huge surge in gender neutral clothing on the horizon. Not only is the economy at risk but social value influenced by feminism has changed perceptions of masculinity.

I look forward to reading your book.

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Not Finding Out? There's a registry for that!

Jo Paoletti

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